Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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