I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
