No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize