Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
