where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
