doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Non-Jews are for practice
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
