Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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