just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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