Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
