You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
