Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your penis caused this!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
