it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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