why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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