i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
