did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
