Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
