That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize