i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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