She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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