Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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