yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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