just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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