I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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