Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
