was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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