i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
