p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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