Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
