How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
