i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
