I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Girls should come with a carfax report
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
