awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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