we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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