I bet he comes in French.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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