I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
