Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
