i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
that's an acceptable place to lick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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