i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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