Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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