so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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