i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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