Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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