Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
