Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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