They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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