We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
