I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Come on in and take your pants off
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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