D3 body, D1 cock
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
