Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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