My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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