Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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