Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She's the barista slut.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
