is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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