im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
