i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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