Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize