This girl is more easily done than said...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
