Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
