i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
