We're facebook friends in real life
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
