It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
