I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
