maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
