my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
