weddingsv make me drug and hornr
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
