She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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