So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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